From Calloused to Tender Hearts - Ephesians 4:25-32

Well, it is a pleasure to be with you this morning. I'm very excited to hop into God's word with each of you. It is July 26, which means it is almost the end of summer, at least for the school year, if you work in any kind of school relation there. We have been doing all kinds of stuff. We've had mission teams, we've had camps, we've had mission trips, we've had things on Sunday nights. And tonight is actually our last Sunday night event. If you didn't know, we're having our Christmas in July potluck tonight at 5.30. You definitely want to come be a part of that. Christmas in July. I don't know if you guys are ever celebrate Christmas in July, but my family is really big on that. Actually, so we didn't get to go, but my kids, we gave them to my mom and dad for the weekend, and they took them back to Oklahoma, and all of my siblings every year have a massive Christmas in July party. My sister, she may be a little crazy. But she decorates her entire house at some point in July, fully in Christmas. She puts Christmas trees up. She puts the fireplace on. She puts all kinds of stuff happening. It's Christmas in July, and honestly, my family just loves it. So, a little bum, I didn't get to be a part of that, but excited that we get to have Christmas in July tonight with you guys. And whenever I think about Christmas in July and kind of Christmas, I think about... I think about movies that we watch in this past year. I know Tyler will like this. My kids and I, we watched how the Grinch stole Christmas, one of his favorite Christmas movies, if not his favorite Christmas movie. And thinking about how, in today's passage, we're talking about the heart, and obviously, famously, the Grinch, when you start out, his heart is two sizes too small, remember? And his heart. He was isolated, he was different. He hated the Hoos, he thought they were annoying, he thought they were dumb, for celebrating Christmas. He thought it was a vain holiday, right? They only did it for gifts, that they only did it, to give themselves things, to receive things. And he's this grumpy guy, and he has his heart, that is too small, his hard, calloused heart. And, uh, But he had this great plan, right? And that's why the movie, how the Grinch stole Christmas. He decided he's going to dress up as Santa Claus, and he's going to drive in or ride in on a sleigh. His dog, his boy Max, is going to pull him in to town, and he's going to steal Christmas. And he does. He steals everything, right? From the toys to the roast beast. Everything that he has, for Christmas, is now his. And he sits on his mountain, and he's listening, he's waiting for the whimpers and whines of a sad whoville, hoping that they will be sad and just completely destroyed, and he's up there just excited to hear it. And what does he hear? He hears the singing. He hears them celebrating, even though they don't have their gifts. And in this moment, his heart has changed, right? He realizes that Christmas is not just about gifts, but it was about the love that they have for each other, the love that they shared. It's not necessarily a Christian movie, but you're able to understand. In a moment, his heart changes, and instead of it being 2 sizes too small, his heart is 3 sizes too big. It's bigger, right? And he's welled up from the inside. Now that he has this change, he rides back into town with these gifts, and he gives them all back, and he's a part of this loving community. This change is heart change occurred in the gringe, right? And now he's now completely different. He now wants to give instead of take. And today we're going to look at how, in a moment, our hearts have been changed. Last week, we talked about our hard hearts, our calloused hearts, and how we were continually going to sin and following our deceptive desires. And this week, we're going to talk about how our hearts have been changed in Christ and how we should be putting the old things away, how we were seeped in sin and deceptive desires. But because of the change that we've received, because of the new heart that we've received, now we live a new life. We're going to learn that we must put away the calloused heart that takes and put on the tender heart that gives. We're going to reread the passage that Tyler just read. And I want you to be thinking, in a moment, I'm going to pray at the end of it. And I want you to have a moment at the end to be thinking, have I had a hard heart? Is there something that I am callous to? Is there something that speaks here that I'm practicing, that I've become unaware of? A callus is an insensitivity to something. Maybe there's something in reading this that the Lord would compel you to be thinking about. Let's read, verse 25. Therefore, having put away falsehood. Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor. For we are members, one of another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather, let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice, be kind to one another, tenderhearted. Forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgave you. Let's pray. God, we thank you for a time that we can come and listen to your word. I thank you for a time that you've allowed me to come and preach your word. Lord, I have some words on this page that I've prepared, that I've prayed over. But Lord, it's not about how much I've prepared, but it's how much you will speak. And what I pray that you'd speak. Lord, I pray that you would move, that you would take the scribbles on this page and that they'd make them glorifying to you, and they would build up the people here in this room. Would we be convicted of sin, and would we find grace more abundantly than we can understand in Christ? Lord, let us be a church that loves each other, that are tender hearted towards each other, and looks to build up instead of tearing down. While you're sitting there, continue to pray. Ask that the Lord would maybe be revealing a way that you've been calloused in living. Maybe there's a way that you've become desensitized to a way of life. Maybe there's a sin that you have done for so long that it's lost its effect on you and you're no longer convicted of it. Ask the Lord to reveal that to you this morning. Lord, I ask that of my own life. Would you reveal that? And Lord, we love you, in Jesus' name. Amen. So we talked about it last week. There has been a change in the believer. At once, we were alienated in the understanding that we had a hard heart, that we had become callous, that we had given ourselves over to sensuality, and greedy practices, and impurity, but in a moment, we've been changed. And Tyler last week gave us this amazing image of, there was an old address that we used to live. By muscle memory, sometimes we end up there. Sometimes we think about, I know how to get back there. I could do that really easily. Sometimes we put it on cruise control, we end up there. But that's not where you live anymore. And Paul, this week is saying, stop putting your life on cruise control, put away that old manner of living, move away fully from that old address, and live freely in your new one. in the new house, that you've now lived, that you now live in the Father's house, that now you are at his table as a child of God. No longer do you live in the muck in the grime of sinful reality here on earth, but now you live as a child of God. Put away the former manner of life. You were hardhearted. You were hardhearted towards God. You were hardhearted towards other, your heart was calloused. In our sin, we only look to please ourselves. We're following our deceitful desires of self gratification. You were a taker. But now, in verse 31 at the very end, just to come, tee is up, he says, put all of that away. And then in verse 32, he says, be tenderhearted. He's book ending what he's talking about. He talked about how you were once hardhearted and callous, but now you're tenderhearted, and everything in the middle is kind of this transition of what we should be doing, putting away the old, putting on the new, and no longer allowing the things that callous our hearts into our lives. This morning, Paul is going to continue that command. He's going to show that the callous hardened heart is destructive, that the believer must now put on, and tend, and cultivate a tender heart that builds up and gives. Kind of a path that we're going to follow. We have 4 points and I have a secret 5th one that I'll share later. It's not really secret, but it says callous hearts lie. Tender hearts tell the truth. Callous hearts react in anger. Tender hearts respond appropriately. Callous hearts, steal, tender hearts, give, calloused hearts, tear others down, tender hearts, build others up. The 1st point, callous hearts lie. Paul says, therefore now that you've put falseness away, let each of you speak the truth with his neighbor. Paul starts with a similar phrase. He said, putting something away. He keeps talking about putting the old life away. There's an action that's happening. Yes, you're a believer. Yes, you've been saved, but there is now the action of putting off, of confessing, of repenting, of actively moving and driving back to the new house. The lying part of you, the lying desire, the temptation to lie. That belongs to the old self, has no place in the heart of the believer. Falsehood belongs to the old self. We know this, though, that line is pervasive, and we justify it often. Some examples, maybe taxes, maybe logging your hours at work. Maybe there's certain jokes that you're telling, that you kind of embellish the truth a little bit. Even this past week, I was talking about, I was talking about basketball and how I've been able to get back in shape a little bit. And I said, yeah, I've lost like 30 pounds. That's not true. I lost 25 pounds, but I try to make £5 better. Like, okay, yeah, I'm that much better. But we embellish the truth of this stuff, right? Even these tiny little lies. We tell fishing stories. Every time you tell it, it gets a little bit bigger, right? Yeah, that fish was this big. And eventually, you catch, you know, the whale out of Jonah's story. But we lie about our schedules. Yeah, I'm too busy. I can't do that. Or, yeah, I have plans, or we lie about our availability. We ask the question, why do we lie? And I'll even bring up an example, and maybe you can feel why we lie. What if I say, hey, 1st off, my wife and I, we have to move out of our house pretty soon. And if you've been to our house, we have this massive piano right at the foot of some stairs. I'm going to ask you one day, hey, Shannon, you want to come move a piano? Ask anybody. Hey, do you want to come move a piano? Immediately you feel in your heart. Okay, is there anything else I could do? Is there any excuse that I can have to not move that piano? And you're thinking through it, you're like, man, I, you know, no, we have something the day after, we have something the day before. Actually, I have an hour that's free exactly when he's asking me, and you have your phone out, and you're thinking about it, and I'm watching, I see the bubbles, and I'm like, I see that, you see it. And then you just lock it and put it in your pocket. And the thought is, I'll get to it later. But the real feeling is, I don't want to respond. I don't want to actually tell the truth, that I can, and I also don't want to lie to you, so we actually have a falseness to our heart, a falseness to our response. The truth is that we don't want to move the piano. We really are kind of tired. I really could be doing something else, but the truth is, I just don't want to move the piano. We lie to get what we want. We lie for our comfort. We lie to get attention in the jokes that we tell, and the embellishing of the stories. We lie for money. We lie for all kinds of stuff. Ultimately, a lie is something that is centered on yourself. You're lying for yourself. It's self focused. We lie because we're putting ourselves in front of others. But look, Paul doesn't say, just stop line. If you don't lie anymore, everything's great. He's focused more on something, he's focused on something more important. He says, put falseness away, but instead speak the truth with one another. Just stop lying isn't the fix. It's just like not responding to the text about the piano. If Shannon hasn't texted me back at the piano, and then later on, I move it, and he's like, oh, did you get that piano moved? I'm like, yeah, and I'm mad at you because I saw that you were reading it. And you never responded, right? We begin to have some division in the body. We must tell the truth to one another because it says right here for we are members of one another. He's talking to believers. She's talking to the church. We need to be honest with each other. We need to be truth tellers as we're speaking to each other, building each other up with honesty, whether it's a hard truth, or maybe it's a truth that maybe I don't want to say yes to, but it's a truth that we need to be honest with. In Christ, we are a family. We're the body of Christ together. The body shouldn't lie to other parts of the body. It's just like your eyes lying to your feet. If I were to walk up here, and my eyes were to say, yeah, that steps a lot farther, and then I take a step off and I hurt myself. That's not helpful. The body of Christ is exactly like our body. We can't be lying to each others. We're no longer focused on ourselves with a calloused hard heart, but we aim to be like Christ and to treat others as more important than ourselves. In the same way that Christ came and laid down his life for us, we ought to be laying down our lives for each other in the way that we speak in the way that we correct. We are living like Christ. Stop being focused on yourself and start thinking about others with a tender heart. This trustworthy connection and signals between the members of the body is essential. How would we survive if our brains lied to our bodies all the time? And maybe you've experienced that, where your brain is lied to your body, where it's telling you one thing, but the reality is something different. The other night, my daughter was in trouble and she was in her room at bedtime and she was crying. So I thought she was just throwing a fit because she was in trouble and she wanted something. But she's crying. I go in there and I have to check my own heart, right? When your kids are just throwing a fitch. I'm about to bring down the hammer. something's going to happen. But I come in, I sit on her bed. And I said, what's going on? And she said, I'm just confused. I said, oh, no. I didn't explain why you're in trouble very well. She said, my brain is telling me that I'm all alone, but I know that I'm not. My daughter was scared. Her brother is right across the room. We are in the other room, and she even verbalized. I know that Jesus is here. But she says, my mind keeps telling me that I'm all alone, but I know that I'm not. I'm just confused. Have you ever had a moment where your body is lying to the other part? It creates chaos. When the body is not truthful with each other, when it's not honest with each other, it creates chaos. Paul says this type of line must be put away. We can't leave each other on the hook. That's like our brain trying to tell us that the truth is actually a lie. Line is what we used to do. Line, as we continue to lie, creates calluses on our hearts. Maybe we're at a point now where we've continued to tell a lie over and over and over again, and our heart is callous to it, and we no longer feel the way that we ought to, and saying that sin is sin. Point number 2. Callous hearts react in anger. Tender hearts respond appropriately. Verse 26. Paul says, be angry, and do not sin. That seems like that is counterintuitive. We're just talking about being kind. We're talking about being tenderhearted to each other, and Paul says, actually, be angry. It's this really interesting moment where Paul is talking about something that maybe is different than what we've been told before. Maybe we said, don't be angry, hide your feelings, don't let any of this happen, just push it down. Way down. Don't let it bother you. In a book called Uprooting Anger, there's this man named Robert Jones, and he defines anger as a whole person, active response, of negative moral judgment against perceived evil. In other words, it is an active response that we have against something or someone because we think they did wrong. I am angry at you because you did something to me that I think was wrong. I'm angry at that thing because of what it did. Have you ever been putting, you know, maybe a nail in a wall. going to hang a picture. And you're up there, and you swing it, and you smack your thumb. What do you do? You say, son of a biscuit. Son of a gun. What in the, you're about to say all kinds of language, you're getting upset, you're mad, there's anger. And what do you do to the hammer? If you're like me, you throw the hammer. If you're like me, that hammers in another zip code, actually. Like, I'm just frustrated. Like, that's my instinct. I was gonna toss it. But what are we doing? We're punishing the hammer for hurting us. We're saying, Hammer, why'd you do this? But in reality, it's not the hammer's fault. It's my fault for missing the nail, right? But we're taking an action on something that we see has done wrong. Anger is that. Our anger is a response, either it could be right, or it could be wrong like that. Throwing the hammer is not actually punishing anybody. Besides me, because I have to go find the hammer. in the field, right? It's like, okay, where is this hammer? But we are acting on something as a judgment because of something they've done to us. Now, Paul says, be angry. But Paul does not want a bunch of cursing hammer slingers in the church. No, he says, be angry, but do not sin. So we must realize that there is anger that actually is not sinful. And we see this in the person of Jesus. And John 2 is a very famous story. Some makes it very uncomfortable when we think about this, Jesus doing this, but he walks into the temple. And what are they doing? They're having a marketplace. They're making God's house of prayer, a den of robbers, Jesus says, that they have now turned this place that's meant to be for the nations to come to connect with Yahweh, the creator of all, and now they're upselling sacrifices. They're actually doing evil where they would sell you a sacrifice, say they're going to sacrifice it on your behalf, and then bring you back out for the next guy. It's evil. It's awful. Jesus sees this and he's moved in his spirit. And what does he do? He leaves. He creates a whip, and he starts whipping them, right? And he starts flipping tables over. And he says, you have turned my father's house of prayer into a place of robbers, and he kicks them all out. We read that and we're like, Jesus, what just happened? Or maybe you read it, you're like, okay, this Jesus guy. He's a little serious. But what's the difference between that and not me throwing the hammer after hitting my thumb? Jesus left. And he methodically, thoughtfully was creating the whip. He didn't respond quickly. He didn't grab a stick and start hitting people in the face. He methodically and actively did, brought it before the Lord. He actively brought it before his father. Paul actually here is quoting Psalm 44. He says, be angry. David writes, be angry, and do not sin. Ponder in your own hearts, on your beds, and be silent. Paul's getting at the matter of the heart. How are you responding in your anger? When something bad happens to you, are you the type that flips your lid? Are you the type that buries it deep? Paul is talking about, sit on your bed, ponder it in your heart, bring it before the Lord, take some time to respond appropriately. Don't react in anger. Jesus' response in his anger was righteous. He was pleasing to God. Jesus in his sacrificing, and sorry, his his submission to God in prayer and methodically createdness. He's taking time to bring it before his father, that his heart would also be in line with the father's heart. And as he's causing bringing judgment on this, that is exactly how God would judge. All the fullness of God dwelled in Jesus. So we absolutely know that what he did was glorifying to God. So when we think about our anger, and we think about how we respond. I'd ask you the question. The way you respond. Is it glorifying to God? The way that you respond. Your calloused heart. Is it reacting in anger? Is it sinful? Is it rash? Are you quick tempered? Are you quick to deal out punishment? The tender heart responds appropriately in anger. It sits quietly in prayer and submission to God, seeking his face and seeking to know if a response is needed, and what response is required? And look, there's urgency here. It says, don't let the sun go down on your anger. There's urgency here. Whenever we think about our anger, I says, ask the question, are you the one who flips your lid, are you the one who pushes it down? If we flip our lid, we didn't let the sun go down in our anger, but we also didn't wait long enough. But a lot of us, we push it down deep. We don't bring it up, we don't say a peep, right, that rhymed, Dr. Seuss again. But whenever we push it down deep, it's actually creating a division in the body again. Whenever we're angry and we don't bring it up, we don't actually become reconciled. They're brought back together with that brother or sister in Christ. What have I done? I'm still acting in judgment against that person. You're no longer worth my time. You're no longer worth my prayers. You're no longer worth my care. In judgment, in anger, I am acting as a judge and authority in those moments. Romans 12 at the end of it, Jesus, or Paul is writing, hey, don't avenge yourself, but leave room for God's wrath. He is the avenger. He is the one who deals that judgment. We are called to actively forgive. At end of this, we're going to see that. But how do we respond in anger? Do we respond? Um, abruptly? Are we hasty? Or are we slow, methodical, bringing it to the Lord? Lord, how do I respond to this? I am very hurt. They said something very terrible. They did something really horrible. If I were to respond right now, it would not glorify you. I need a moment. It would empower me by your heart that is within me. To do what is right. James 119 through 20, James Wright, know this, my beloved brothers. Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Our response to anger must be urgent and intentional. Bring it to the Lord. Unaccounted for anger calluses our heart. It builds up bitterness. It builds up slander and opportunities to talk badly, to ruin that person's reputation. But man, we act like Christ, and we, we, we, and we offer forgiveness, and we want to be brought together. Man, what a place to be. But we forgive in the way that we've been forgiven. Point number 3. Calloused hearts steal, tender hearts give. Verse 28. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Now this command is interesting. It's in the present tense. He's not talking about a past tense of, hey, there was a bunch of thieves in Ephesus, and now there's no longer there. He's actually writing present tense of saying, as the reader would say, I think the Ephesians are stealing right now. that there's actually a bunch of thieves in Ephesus, and they're believers. So when we're reading this, we need to be thinking, he's talking to Christians who are stealing currently. And maybe you're thinking, that is nuts. How could a Christian ever get so low to steal? How could anybody ever think that stealing is appropriate or okay? Honestly, stealing is very pervasive again, it's just like lying. How many of you have your own Netflix account? No hands, no hands, just joking. How many of us are borrowing someone else's? You're supposed to be paying for that yourself? Again, taxes. Are we are we stealing money from those by incorrectly logging our taxes? Are we logging hours incorrectly? But Paul's talking about the church here. So Paul's talking about them stealing from each other. We have no true hint at what is actually being stolen, that the principle remains the same, that the thief should no longer steal, should no longer look to put themselves and elevate themselves, that they are more important, so they take from others. But they should no longer steal, but give. The callous heart steal. The tender heart gives. How do we stop thieves in our society? We lock them up? Or we kick them out if they're in your business, right? You're no longer welcome here. You're fired. We fire them. We push them away. But Paul commands something different. They're catching thieves in Ephesus. Train them to work honestly. Teach them what it means to give to others. Again, this forgiveness, this tender heart. Our callous heart would have them kick him out. No 2nd chances. Our tender heart is bringing them in, teaching them the right way to live. He's talking about a heart change. He's not just saying, stop bad actions, do good works. You need a heart change. You need to stop thinking about yourself and you need to start thinking about what Jesus has commanded and give your heart fully to him and do what he's commanded. We know that stealing numbs the heart in the church. It's easy to take. It's easy to justify not giving in return. Let's think about the church. How can we steal here in the church? We steal with our schedules. We plan everything, so we're not able to help at a certain point, at a certain time on Sunday morning, or at a certain time on Wednesdays, with our lives, how we are using our lives and saying no to things of offering help to others. We steal with our resources that we are withholding them when we know we could be giving some. It's easy to put yourself as number one and not consider others. As we continue to let others give everything, while we only receive, our hearts become calloused. Everything is getting done. They must not need me. Everything's getting done. I can just continue what I was doing. I don't need to serve. I would make a difference anyways. Our heart is calloused. No longer are we listening to the commands of Christ, the commands of Paul, to love one another, encourage one another, serve one another, lay down your life sacrificially for one another, but now we're perfectly fine with allowing them to lay down their life for ourselves. Our hearts become callous. There's a trend in the church, we're a saying that 10% of the people do 90% of the work. Have you heard that phrase before, 20% of the people do 80% of the work, whatever the percentage is. Do you ever think about the 10% who do all the work? If it's true? Have you ever offered to lend a hand in some way? And honestly, maybe it's only prayer. Maybe you really, your schedule is so busy that you can't. Maybe it's sporadic. Maybe you're actually not able to help all that much. But Paul's not talking about, stop doing bad things, start doing good things. He's talking about the heart. How is your heart in these moments? An example that I thought about is Mark 12, 41 through 44. Jesus is sitting in the treasury with his disciples, and across, he sees where they're giving their offerings to God. These very rich people have these large sacks of money, and they're walking up, and they're pouring all these coins into these offering buckets, and they get thunderous, metallic applause, right? Because the buckets themselves are metallic, and as you pour coins into it, it's super, super loud. And then you see a poor widow come, and all you hear is, tink, tink, two copper coins, is all she put in. And what does Jesus respond with? He said, truly I say to you, this woman is put in far more than those rich people did. She gave out of her poverty. They gave in their abundance. Jesus and Paul are talking about the same thing. It's not about what you give. It's about how you give. How are we thinking about our fellow people at church? How are we thinking about each other? The principle is simple. It's not the amount that you give. It's the heart of the giver. Are you willing to give all that you have to worship Christ fully and to love your brother and sister fully? When we think about this, I don't want you to hear, well, Dalton's saying, I don't do enough around here. I better step it up. I want you to examine your heart. Because a lot of us, honestly, honestly, church plan, there's so many of us doing all kinds of stuff all the time. I don't think that percentage thing is true here. But the hard thing could be. Maybe you're like me. I just do stuff because it was drilled into me as a kid, right? We just do stuff. We do stuff, we do stuff, and you could do a lot of really great stuff, and your heart's in the wrong place, and you're not really giving. You're just doing. Jesus, Paul are talking about, it's about a heart, a heart fully given over to Christ. Are you looking to give out of a heart full of worship of Jesus, or are you looking to take? Next point. Calloused hearts tear others down. Tender hearts build others up. He says, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths. That word corrupting means rotten. Filthy, bad. So the idea here is that the talk that is corrupting is filthy. It's bad, it's slowly rotting away in the church. Don't let that rotting language come out. It's talking about bad language. talking about jokes, it's talking about jabs at each other. As the body of Christ partakes in corrupting talk. It's like an infection that is festering. It's on my toe. Wow, I'm glad it's on my toe. That's not going to bother me, but the longer you leave it alone, the further it comes up, the further it kills, the further you're farther away, farther and farther away from being healthy. It slowly rots the body. The calloused heart speaks filthy, corrupting, rotting words that infect the body. The language jokes and jabs, the speaker, leave the speaker potentially unaffected, but the hearer is slowly rotting. Maybe you're a mature believer, and you would say, I have grace, and I can say what I like, but the immature believer, like we see in 1st Corinthians, that they are tossed, they're hurt, they're convicted of what's happening. Filthy jokes fly in the face of scripture and they make they make less of sin. They make less of a holy God. Our language, on the other hand, should be that which brings glory to God, and builds up the body. Our language should not be that that tears down, that rots, that festers, that stinks. But should be that of a beautiful aroma to God of worship and service to each other, building each other up. An example of this type of talk, a previous Sunday, um, Matt, Ashland, and I were sitting right there. I already asked Ashton if I could share this story. So this is great. But we were back there, we were sitting there, and me and Ashton were talking when we were talking about Matt comes up, and Matt says, Ashley, I want to tell you that you're really good at making community. And Ashton kind of comically and honestly response. I'm uncomfortable receiving compliments. I'm like, yeah, that was honest. And then she kind of like walked away. It was awesome. But it was honest. It was true. She is great at making community. It was a great compliment. But I think, honestly, we're all similar to that, that it's hard to receive a genuine compliment, maybe because we're not offering it, and maybe because we don't actually receive it. But a body of Christ is meant to be encouraging building each other out that that should be commonplace. That should almost fall on deaf ears at some point because we see what God is doing in the lives of each other, and we're encouraging each other. I'm not so great at this. I'm the same guy. I do my work because I'm supposed to do my work, right? But as we begin to notice what the Lord is doing in each other, let's build each other up instead of tearing each other down. The calloused heart tears each other down with their words. But a timely word of a tender heart builds up. We must put away all filthy language and talk. It puts division in the body. It calluses the heart. As we speak these jokes, and as we say this language, we begin to have a decentitization of the words and ideas and thoughts in our hearts. We need to speak words that build up. We need to encourage the heart of the speaker and the listener, it gives grace to those who hear. Last point, it's on the screen. It says, just be tender hearted. Paul is bringing, oh, it is on there, nice. It is all about the heart. Paul is bringing his point here. It's not about what you do and what you don't do. Obviously stop doing those things. Start doing these things. But if you're only stopping and doing, you're just like what Jesus told the Pharisees. You're like whitewashed tombs. You look great on the outside, but there's dead people's bones on the inside. Paul is talking about a tender heart. He says, let, uh, he said, do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away with you, be put away from you, along with all malice. He says, all bitterness, all wrath, all clamor, all of these things. We could go into a word study of those if we wanted to, but all of the things of the old self, put away. Not mostly, not on occasion, not around some people, all of it. All of the callous heart, all of the ways that we used to live must be put away. Those things build division. We need to be building up. The last word, actually, is a great summary of the list, malice. It means evil intent. It means maliciousness, right? We didn't even put in away all evil intent. All of the deceitful desires that we have that we would like to follow because of our hard hearts. Put it away. Live in honor of the Lord. Put all evil intent from your heart away. You need a heart change. In Ezekiel 36, we have this amazing promise. that God says, I will gather my people, and I will put my heart in them. I will replace their stony heart with a heart of flesh. I will put my own spirit within them so that they may walk in my statutes. At salvation, if you claim to be a believer in here. You have a new heart. It has been replaced by the king of kings. Now, along with his own spirit, he is empowering you to obey. A few weeks ago, we prayed. remember, Paul was praying for the Ephesians. God, I pray that you would strengthen them in the inner being by your Holy Spirit, that Jesus may dwell in them. The Holy Spirit, who is in you at salvation, is readying the throne. He's sweeping the floor. He's scrubbing the deck. He's letting Jesus come and sit on the throne of your heart. And those who have Jesus on the throne of their heart are tenderhearted towards each other. He is the king of their life. He is the love of their life. And because he is our God, because he is loving, because he has forgiven us. Therefore, we also love and forgive. So some questions here. What in your life is cultivating the tender heart of love in God, love in Christ. Are you actively cultivating this type of love? On the flip side. What have you actively participating in that rubs up against the heart, calluses you? What are you doing that's desensitizing you to the evil of this world, of the seriousness of the previous life? You've received a new heart in Christ, the callous one's been put away. But calluses can be formed again. Maybe you play guitar and maybe you played for a while, and then you quit for a couple of months and you go deck to play. What happens? You got to build those calluses back up. Calluses can come back as you continue to work on them. Put on new ways. Together as a church family, let's cultivate tender hearts as we sacrificially live in community with one another. Last little bit. Why do we cultivate a tender heart? We've talked a little bit about this. But here's the truth that he's getting at here. At the very end, he says, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Why are we forgiving each other? Because you've been forgiven of sin? Fully. Not partially, not on occasion, you've been fully forgiven of sin. Why do we care about others in such a way that would have me live sacrificially on behalf of others, because Christ died for you, sacrificially lived for you, forgave you of all unrighteousness. He has forgiven you freely, so we love because he loved us first. The idea of forgiven, the word forgiven is a legal financial term. It means you've been released from debt. When you have been forgiven, you've been wronged, you've occurred a debt, and that has been washed away. That has been wiped out. When someone steals from you and they're caught. They must pay back what they stole, and more. They're in debt to you. The truth is that we have stole from God. Romans one tells us time and time again, thinking they were wise. They made false gods. Thinking they were wise, they encouraged sin. thinking they were wise, they twisted the truth. We've taken God's creation and we have marred it, we've destroyed it. We've twisted it. Until it's unrecognizable. God looks down from heaven, it says in Psalm 14 and in Romans. He looks down from heaven to find one person who does good. And he finds none. Roman says again, for all sin, for all fall short of the glory of God. And what we earn because of sin is our death. The truth is that our sin that we've racked up is insurmountable. The callous heart that you have is too thick to be penetrated. The payment that you owe will cost you your life. But God gave his God gave Jesus. Jesus didn't see his equality with God as something to take advantage of, but he took on the form of a servant, to come and live and to give his life for the loss, to seek and to save the lost, to extend forgiveness to a people that he knew would reject him. A people that hate him. He came and gave his own life for others who don't deserve it, who don't care about it. But he gave it, for you, for me, for our neighbor, for the person you're angry at, for the person that you're resenting, the person that you're bitter about. The wages of sin is death, but the good news that the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus, our Lord. He gives his life through forgiveness at great cost to himself. Since we have been forgiven. We forgive others. If you claim to be a believer in here, We ought to be freely given forgiveness. Peter comes to Jesus. Jesus, let's say that my friend has wronged me 7 times. How often should I give him? He said, not 7 times, 7 times 70 times you should be forgiving them. And what he's saying there, that's a perfect number. You should always be forgiving your brother. If he's repented, and he's asked for forgiveness, you give it freely. Because we have no claim to hold debt. We freely forgive because he freely forgave us by giving his life. The response that you may have is this. That's hard, Dalton. You don't know what that person did to me. You don't know what that person said to me. You don't know the evil that's been done to me. Yeah. It's really hard. But here's the truth as believers, you have the Holy Spirit. God, God's spirit lives within you, empowering you, causing you to walk in his obedience, causing you to be more like Jesus every single day, who had great, horrible things done to him. yet extends forgiveness. to us freely. The Holy Spirit is sweeping the floor. He's readying the throne of your heart for Jesus to rule and reign. God, Jesus' reign is seen by his people, by them following his example. They will know you're my disciples by the love you have for each other. You prove to be my disciples by living in my commands, living in his way, his commands. Paul says, don't grieve the Holy Spirit for whom you've been sealed for the day of redemption. At salvation, you have a future, and it's set in Christ. And it's promised by the Holy Spirit, and it's sealed. He says, don't grieve the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit's with you always. He hears every word. He says every image. He knows every thought. How do we continue to go on? With a calloused heart, knowing the Holy Spirit is there, rejecting the tiny reminders of what it means to be reconciled? Don't grieve the Holy Spirit. For those who put their faith in Jesus. They are sealed by the Holy Spirit forever, and the Holy Spirit is working to soften your heart, to ready the throne that Jesus would sit on there fully and without disgrace. in the way that you live without grief. Some last questions and we're done. Is there someone that you need to be reconciled with today? Has the body of Christ here been bruised in some way? Does it need repair? Is there a bandage that needs to be wrapped around a sore ankle, right? Is there a conversation that needs to be had and have you prayed about it? Have you brought it to the Lord asking how you should properly respond? Maybe you said something you shouldn't. Maybe they said something they shouldn't. How can we begin to extend forgiveness freely like we've perceived? Here's a question again. Is there sin in your life that keeps rubbing against your heart that continues to callous it? Something that you do that you can't seem to give up, that continues to be less and less and less hard, or less and less convicting. As they're sitting in your life that needs to be repentative. And then thirdly, is the statement. Begin to cultivate a tender heart. I know you're going to hear, read your Bible pray, but honestly, we can't do anything apart from him. Jesus says that, John 155. For apart from me, you can do nothing. Not some good things, not some bad things. You can do nothing apart from me. I would encourage you, read the gospels. If you're saying, to all, I'm really bitter, I'm really callous. I dont know how to respond to this person. Go read the gospels and see how Jesus responds to his people. Go see how he is urgent in his way of dealing with these things, and also the care that he's gentle and lowly, that he takes on the burdens of his people and how he quietly walks to the cross for you. Man, not even a word. Ask the Lord to soften your heart. It's him who does the word. Him who does the work. And then lastly, put sin away. Get an accountability partner. confess your sin to each other. Let's raise each other up. Let's intercede for each other. Let's help each other pursue a life that honors God. Let's pray. God, we thank you for today. Well, thank you for your word. Lord, your word is hard, but your word is sweet. Lord, it says the things we don't want to hear. It says the things that we need to hear. Lord, thank you for your word that gives us life. And encourage, it does, that replenishes a weary soul as we hear your own words. Your very written breath, God, is in these pages. God, would we be a people that's not concerned with putting ourselves first? Would we be a people that look to honor you in all things? Lord, would I be a pastor that leads in that way? Lord, would I be a dad that leads that way? Lord, what would we have, just as Hebrews says, would we be a people that is stirring each other up to good works as we see that day approaching? Let us not neglect the gathering together that we can encourage each other, help each other. Thank you for Jesus, how his sacrifice paid for all my sins, all our sins. Thank you for your Holy Spirit, who has sealed us for the day of redemption. And thank you for your promises that we will be with you forever, where there's no more tears and no more pain. Lord, as we see that day approaching, help us prepare our hearts for worship for eternity. We love you. Jesus' name. Amen.